Week 18: Where is my faith?

iMprovement Diaries

A little back story.

I give up in Christian home. And from a young age my parents constantly pushed me towards the church. They never pointed at a specific church or encouraged a certain way of believing but they just made it clear that following this path is the right thing to do.

Through the years I have experienced the highs and the lows. I have believed to a great degree and have resented just as much. My consistency in my belief has been questionable. Though I have seemed to have enough knowledge which can form a foundation to have unchallenged faith, I still find it hard to practice what I preach.

Lately it seems like my mistakes and my bad decisions are starting to catch up to me and oddly enough, increasingly Christian content seem to be coming my way on multiple social media platforms. Which puts a bit of fear in my heart because a few weeks ago, I came across a video where the person in the videos was saying that when we die, on judgement day, the lord will point out to the nonbelievers that reasons to believe was brought to the multiple times but the refused to listen. Now time has run out.

Now each time that I encounter any of that contents or someone speak about God, I get goose bumps. I worry about all the days I have gone through without thanking God for anything even though I have encountered a lot of his blessings.

Here are some creators that have encouraged me on my journey and learn more about God.

- George Janko

- Cliffe Knechtle

- Bill Graham

- Bishop Mar Mari Emanuel

- Philip Anthony

I pray that God helps me relight my candle. That I find my way back because on my journey of self-improvement, I have recently discovered that my faith will help me understand myself, the world and everything and everyone in it much better.

I will:

- Be humbled.

- Know what truly matters to me.

- Be more empathetic.

- I will learn to understand the reasons why I am in a certain situation.

- I will be creating a foundation for those that will come after me to walk a past to a better life.

- The anger in my heart will be properly addressed.

- I will be more patient.

- I will become the man I was truly meant to be.

All of these things will not only apply to my but to anyone who follows this path.

Here’s something you may not know about this road.

- Believing in God is one of the most difficult things you can do.

You are believing in something you haven’t seen or heard. Your faith id based of what someone has told you. Even if miracles come your way, they are hard to see as miracles due to the lack of tangible evidence of God having something to do with it.

- You never know if he is there.

You may pray, read the bible etc. and still not hear his voice. God doesn’t review himself when you want him to. He doesn’t present himself in ways you expect him to. He shows up in ways you least expect him to.

- The lessons.

The lessons are everywhere and hard to understand. They are endless. The crazy thing is that the lessons are not only meant for you but for people you encounter. His lessons don’t only teach one person, they teach people from all walks of life in multiple generations.

- Immunity.

Yes, following Christ promises peace, success, joy, love etc. but that doesn’t mean you will never suffer again. You will. To some degree, you will encounter more hardship when following Christ than when you weren’t.

The full benefits will come at the end of your life. Not now.

It’s not an easy path but in the short time that I walked it, I was a better person.

I understood myself and the world much better in that period.